Please excuse the large plank in my eye!

So recently, I found three blog sites that I absolutely love.  I find that I love stupid, sarcastic, obnoxious humor about everyday boring things…. Shocking, right?  Yea,I know! **insert valley girl “ch-aw”.  And turns out that one of the bloggers may be my evil twin. Right down to her hatred of Oprah, the love of all things Zombie, she loves Paul Rudd, and she thinks monkeys are awesome.  Evil twin!!!  I will list their sites on my favorites providing that I can figure out how (my lack of computer skills shining like the northern star – wait, I have two teenagers…. It’s all cool!).But visit them at your own risk.  Warning, they all have a liberal use of some foul language and some… shall we say “adult” topics. I’m not telling you this to be all judgey and stuff… only that these blogs are not for everyone.  Me, I think they are hilarious. Yea, yea.  I’m a heathen.

So enough about them… this is MY blog.  So I turn to these blogs as a small, shining ray of sunshine in my otherwise hectic sometimes grumpy life.  And when my favorite bloggers don’t blog, I find that I’m a bit put out by their laziness.  Yes.  How dare they not write fun, witty comments for my daily pleasure?  No, who cares that they have lives and families to attend to?  Not me.  Nope.  I want to be entertained. 

So I logged on the other day and there were no new updates. Boo!  And then I jumped over to my blog.  Which hasn’t been updated in almost two months?  Well.  Now that’s just a nasty little turn of events now isn’t it?!  Ok.  Point. Taken. I will quite bein’ a big ol’ baby and start writing more.  DANGIT! I'm such a Lahooozaherrr!!!

Update for the Rio Angry Birds

Once again, those birds are ripe with life lessons. Once again, the Birds are angry, but this time they are not knocking out green pigs.  They are rescuing other birds.  Such a noble cause!  And once again, I have found wonderful, marvelous, stupendous life lessons in this crazy addicted game.  Seriously… it’s like a drug! 

But, regardless of the addictive properties of these crazy birds, here are the life lessons gleaned from the game:

·         Helping out others is good.  Compassion ministries are amazing ways to show the love of Jesus.  I’m not sure compassion ministries count for colorful, fancy birds who find themselves trapped in cages… but who am I to judge?

·         Bondage (in any form) is bad.  Do you see how sad the little caged birds are?  Their big eyes are just sorrowful!  It is important to help ourselves and others out of bondage.  I’m not suggesting you launch yourself from a humongous sling shot at another person, but you get my meaning.

·         Similar to the lesson above, freedom is amazing.  Praise the Lord.

·         Monkeys cannot be trusted.  I’ve felt this way for a long time.  What with Planet of the Apes, King Kong and Donkey Kong providing other fine examples.  Sure they look sweet and cuddly… but I’m not fooled. Can’t be trusted.

·         Careless workmanship leads to disaster.  Take pride in your work.  Learn from the birdnappers:

• Seriously who stacks these cages with TNT, glass and what are they doing with floating swim rings? 
• What kind of warehouse are they in? What do they do in this warehouse that they can house all these birds? 
• And do the kidnappers not notice the humongous sling shot and not wonder what it’s for? 
• And who needs THAT many birds? 
• Further, to go to all the trouble of stealing these birds only to haphazardly stack the goods… seriously?!?

So hopefully this will prompt you to look to normal, everyday things in new light. 

I've completely lost my mind... shocking? no, not really.

I knew the second the automated voice picked up that I was not gonna be happy.  The voice was annoying.  It was either a very effeminate male voice or it was an older female voice who had spent the majority of life smoking a pack a day.  Either way it was annoying.  The voice proceeded to tell me how bad cold weather was for water pipes and how the company was not authorized to light a pilot lights.  Ok.  Good info.  But I needed to pay my bill.  And it was the warmest day of the year.  Not really worrying about frozen pipes or unlight pilot lights, but ok… good info.