Saturday, December 18, 2010

Shut up grace

So over the last month or so, I’ve been suffering from writers block.  I don’t know if an occasional blogger can truly suffer from writers block, but like a stomach bug running through kindergarten, I’ve caught it.
I have lots of great ideas that just really don’t pan out lately.  As a matter of fact, I have about three different pages of half paragraphs sitting on my laptop as we speak.  But they just don’t have the “umpf” I want. 
But recently I have noticed a thread of repetition in my daily life.  Or as I call it “UGH!”.  This thread of repetition has been on-going for a LONG time, and I’m just now starting to understand it.   I’m calling it  grace, but there’s also a smidgen of patience, kindness and a general “don’t act like yourself” in these daily lessons. 
One definition of grace that I found (and there were many) is: disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency.  Clemency… as in merciful.   So, work with me here, grace is an act of kindness after a perceived injustice has been done.  What I’m finding, is that if I don’t immediately react…. Most of the time, the situation isn’t what it first appeared… or even not a “situation” at all.  Hmmmm… what a concept!  Good thing sitcom writers don’t recognize this phenonemon… there’d be no dramatic comedies!
And how is grace seen in the bible?   Grace is noted in the bible, mostly by God’s grace on individuals or situations.  Grace is mentioned in several Psalms and Proverbs. So reading the bible, we can definitely see how God has grace.  But how are we as broken, miserably human, people-folk supposed to mirror grace in our lives?  I certainly don’t have a good grasp on it, otherwise He wouldn’t be asking me to face “grace-necessary” situations on such a frequent occurrence.
Grace is really hard.  Especially for the gal who is independent, strong-willed, and vocal (those are the nicer terms for my abrasive personality).  So for me, grace is more keeping my mouth shut rather than saying the 100 things that come to mind in the snotty voice in my head.  Since most of them are wildly inappropriate.  So I call this life lesson “shut up grace”.
In the last several months I have had to practice this shut up grace many times.  Talk about difficult!  And as difficult as it is, I know that it’s important.  Allowing things to proceed without a “missy observation” is the Lord’s desire, so I’m doing my best to keep my thoughts to myself. 
I don’t know that there is any great, life altering advice here…. Other than the Lord is in control and working in all situations. So the only advice I have is to really listen before reacting in those difficult situations.  I’m trying….I’m trying… I’m trying!!!!

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