Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Such a loser!!!!

I know, I know.  I’ve been a total loser and haven’t blogged in like forever.  I could tell you that I started a new exercise program which has left me completely drained.  I could tell you that we have had a computer malfunction (not to be confused with a wardrobe malfunction…. Totally not the same thing) or I could tell you that I’ve had bloggers block.  All would be true, but it basically boils down to I’ve been lazy.  You wanna know the best part about having your own blog… yea… you can blog when you want.  So there you have it.  I’ll quit being so losery and do better.  Promise.  Now… on with the wonderful crap written word.
When my alarm went off this morning at the dreadful hour of 6:00 am, the first thought that ran through my mind was “you have got to be kiddin me!”.  Followed immediately by… “is there anyway I could be sick?”.  A quick self-evaluation proved that not the case.  So then I thought “If I don’t put in my contacts, I could stay in bed like three more minutes” and “I wonder how important promptness is to my job”.  Then I decided to quit being a jerk and get up.  But…. I didn’t like it. 
Despite my first thoughts of lying to stay in my warm bed, I got ready in record time and was on the road like five whole minutes early.  See … that whole no contact thing works.  I can’t see the clock, but I’m sure I’m early.
Anyway, my mornings are always rushed.  And the 25 minute drive in to work usually consists of me making sure I’ve done all the necessary things in preparation for work.  The important things like… have my phone.  Put on lipstick.  My shoes match… well, you get the idea.  This morning was no different.  And as I’m sitting at a traffic light, I realize with horror, that I’ve forgotten deodorant.  Well… that stinks. Literally…. (hahah! Get it… stinks.  Ok.  moving on with less 3rd grade humor.)
No need to panic, my second daughter (who refuses to carry a purse), leaves all kinds of things in my car and I’m positive I’d seen deodorant floating around.  Along with two gloves (neither match and their mate is missing), window scrapers, Tylenol, straw wrappers and a container of grapes (don’t ask).  I know, I know… my car may have the appearance of hotness… but simmer down.  Its all mine!
So the next light I’m digging for the deodorant and not finding it when the guy behind me honks.  Yes.  Honks because he/she has had to wait three nanoseconds at a green light.  Its not like we were three cars back and the car in front of me just started moving and really…how is gaining that second gonna get you there quicker? Whatev!!!!  So I politely wave at them.  No.. not the middle birdy wave, but a “yea. I see you, you impatient  tool … I’m moving… chill out” wave.
About two miles down the road she passes me and slows down to glare before zipping in front of me.  Wow. Mature! So I wave again.  Cuz that’s the polite thing to do, right? 
Just a bit later I catch her at the stoplight. ((it should be pointed out that she made up NO time with her impatience... just saying) She’s in the lane beside me… her anger of my irresponsibility is long gone, because she’s searching for her lighter in her purse.  At the green light.  Four cars behind her… none are happy. And one honked Yea. 
So that’s my story for today. I made it to work early.  And have deodorant in my desk – at least I hope it was deodorant… cuz I can’t see anything. 

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