Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Fail to plan or plan to fail... or some crap

So a really good friend and I went to the opening night of the new Underworld movie. For weeks, we have looked forward to this movie.  Having seen the pervious movies several times, believing that we too could be ultimate vampire hunters, and wishfully thinking we can fit into all that black leather, the day could not have come quick enough.  My friend picked the theater with the big screen.  After having experienced this theater, during a recent Twilight fiasco that left us sitting on the front row. Where I got motion sick. Twice.  I was understandably cautious. So, I knew we needed a strategy. 
See, I am a bit, somewhat, a lot OCD, and like to go into a situation with a plan. Much like Selene, (and the boy scouts) I am always prepared.
I like having the who, what, when, where and how lined out so that there are no surprises (like sitting on the front row with the 20 year old girl talking NONSTOP during the movie, and crying when Bella “dies” Seriously, there’s another movie!  Did you NOT read the book??)  Ok.  So. I wanted to see Selena on my terms. Which was NOT the front row with the slobbering chick.
So, convinced that we needed to get to the theater early and wait in line for seats, the drive to the theater consisted of me planning our seating strategy.  When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.  I was ready.  I shared the Twilight puke fest with my friend, and rolled up my sleeves.
We get there and I ask the attendant how many tickets had been sold for our movie.  She looks and says.  “I’ve sold 7”.  What?!?! NO WAY!  Well, clearly the people seeing this movie on opening night are superior and have gotten their tickets online or at the kiosk.  OR used a different attendant.  Or perhaps this attendant is lying, not knowing about the Twilight craziness. 
I was deterred but not fooled.  I continued the original plan.  My friend wanted to go eat.  A hurdle…Ok.  Well if we hurry, we can do that, but we gotta hurry.  Of course we were running later than I wanted, so I had to reassess the insanity plan of action.
On the drive back to the theater, I am in strategy mode.  If I were five, I would have ran into the theater, knocking people down and grabbed the first available seat then demanded popcorn. But people frown upon an adult woman running around like a five year old, so I had to be mature.  Dang it!  So being a great planner (read: OCD)  I mapped out the best route:  We would go get our seats then take turns getting snacks. 
By the time we got to the theater, my friend was feeling my anxiety and was agreeing to my crazy plan.  Apparently crazy is contagious.  Or it’s a lot like Stockholm syndrome without the whole kidnap and torture thing.  She was all jittery and ready to knock out (in a Selene like fashion) anyone who got in our way.
I distinctly remember thinking and possibly saying over and over “I can’t sit up front… I just can’t” as we literally raced to the theater, opened the door, rushed down the aisle.  Totally prepared to threaten teenagers to give up their seats or fake an Lycan emergency, we looked up and found….
A theater filled with twenty people.  Yea.  Turns out, all the Underworld fans went to another theater.
So, we’ll chalk this one up to the egocentric, obsessive compulsive!  Yea.  My poor friend will never go to another movie opening with me again.

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