Monday, January 9, 2012

And so it begins.....

So. I hope you all had a great holiday. I took some time off and enjoyed it with my friends and family. I literally did nothing for like a week. It. was. wonderful.

However. Something interesting happens when you spend extended "together" time with your family. Yea. The professionals call it insanity. So in order to spend a week and a half with the fam (three girls, two of which are teenagers and the youngest is ten going on 14.... yea... I KNOW!!!) I have become adaptive to the situation... I invoke unique coping techniques... lest I loose my ever-lovin' mind.

The hubs takes the "watch sports 24/7 technique", which results in said teenagers rolling their eyes and leaving. Me, well I tried napping, but teenagers don't appreciate the sheer beauty of the afternoon nap. I tried hiding... but turns out teenagers are resourceful and smart. SO this past holiday, I found a great, new coping technique. I call it.... obnoxious mom. Yea... I'm like a pro already!

The beauty of obnoxious mom is the said teenager will eventually roll their eyes and walk away. Singing loudly in the car, trying to be "hip and happening" with their friends, writing sweet memories of their childhood on their Facebook page, and threatening to make them join me at Walmart are a few examples.

However effective, one has to use this new power with caution, as a the teens can turn the tables. I call it... obnoxious teen. Here's an example... the following conversation took place with my oldest daughter.

Bugz: Can I borrow a headband? (Understand that this is how teens show love... I buy hair stuff... they use it, then lose it before I can. You know.... love.)

Me: It will cost you five bucks. And you have to let me name your first born. I like Penelope Swifferton.

Bugz: Ha. Ok. (wow... way TOO easy, I should have tried hiding again).

Me: How about Smoochy McGiggletart?

Bugz: Tart. Fart. One mistake and the kid is picked on for life. (yea... that's the biggest concern here).

Me: Yea. I see your point. Ok. How bout Sparkly Kenzington?

Bugz: Maybe. How about Frederick McBeddington?

Me: Ok??? (what's wrong with Sparkly?) Hmm.....kinda rhymie isn't it?

Bugz: Uh. No. It sounds like an upper east side New York journalist.

Me: Ok. I can get behind that. But what if he’s a doctor. Dr. McBeddington sounds like a bad sitcom on ABC Family. Or a muppet. Or worse... a 70's adult movie star... yuck. You cannot name your kid after a muppet.

Bugz: Ok. We’ll find another snooty name.

Me: Yea. That one's pretty much ruined now. Darn my ingenuity!

So I suppose we can only hope that her future husband is more influential that I am.... secret plan... I'll totally give that kid a rockin' nickname. Plus one can only hope that her child will also invoke obnoxious teen to counteract her shenanigans. Its the circle of life.

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