Monday, September 19, 2011

I hate mornings. Eggs are good for you. Road construction bites!

Boring disclaimer: This blog may or may not be true.  I don't even know anymore!
So every road into my office is under construction.  Literally EVERY road has some type of work being done to it.  To make matters worse, one of the main roads that I use on a daily basis has been reduced from four lanes down to two. I’m sure someone thinks there is a good reason for this.  However, I think this is stupid.  Seriously, what reasoning goes into increased traffic backups and short lights?  And it’s pretty rude to not even consider how this affects ME! 
In order to fight da’ man (the City) I first tried to get up earlier.  Well, while the thought sounds good on the surface, the execution of said plan… left a lot to be desired. (like not getting up any earlier). Mornings make me fussy.  Well, lots of things make me fussy…. This is just one of the main ones.
So in the past two weeks, I’ve decided to find a new route to work.  This requires skill, cunning and creativity.  All of which I have very little - especially in the morning.  I’ve tried several different variations of routes and found the best one takes me through – shall we say - a rough area of “the field”.  And there are always unique and interesting things going on in this area.
Like the other day I saw a rather fat robust dude walking down the sidewalk at 7:30 in the morning wearing a cape, a baseball hat, and carrying a six pack of beer.  What???… superheroes need some downtime too – up all night fightin’ crime...?  
So, today I found myself in need of gasoline.  So I pulled into a station and this is what I see.

Yes.  That is an egg.  By the gas pump. No. Got no idea of why it’s there or how it got there.  So I offer these possible solutions:
1.       Someone wanted to rob the store, but was really misguided with their choice of weapon.
2.       Gang of chickens gone wrong. So sad.
3.       Somewhere a pack of bacon and some hash browns are really, really lonely.
4.       Peter and the giant chicken are at it again.
5.       “What're you d... I say, what're you doin' with a pump, pumpin' for oil? You're crazy boy! There's no oil in this ground!” (foghorn leghorn).
6.       Salmonella anyone, anyone?
7.       Somehow this is tied to the animal conspiracy. I don’t know how… but I’m keepin’ my eyes open!
8.       Not really an egg.  Alien monitoring device.
9.       Animal House food fight reenactment…. “That boy... is a p.i.g. pig”
10.   The incredible, edible egg can now pump gas. Very impressive.
Or it could be that the egg fell out of a grocery bag.  But any one of these is a much funnier excuse than that…geez!
If you have any possible ideas… leave them in a comment.  There is always space in my padded room!

1 comment:

  1. You forgot to carry the eggs in last night after putting the carton on top of the van and that was the last one standing...until you hit the brakes at the gas pump. Sooo sad.


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