Tuesday, August 2, 2011

This should totally be titled: Lions, Tigers, and Bears, Oh my!...But I refuse to conform!

As you have all probably figured out, I’m really close to being a conspiracy theorist.  Which is just a fancy way of saying I have a really vivid imagination – or I’m crazy – either way, I find ways to entertain myself on a daily basis.  Much of the junk stuff nuggets of pure genius will eventually make it to this blog.  However, I have to introduce it to you in small increments, so you won’t get freaked out think I’m insane.  I can’t go to an asylum – white clothing washes me out.  Well that and the whole germ thing. Ew! Missy, pace yourself!

One of (the many) theories I’m formulating is I think it’s entirely possible that the animals are plotting to take over the human race.  No, I’m not talking about your domestic animals - necessarily.  As a matter of fact, I believe my little Charlie is indeed Batman, and goes out fighting crime when he gets out of the yard sees the bat signal. 

Mainly because he roams the neighborhood terrorizing protecting the rogue cats *who better quit pooing in my flowerbeds!!!* That and I’ve NEVER seen Charlie and Batman together in the same room.  Coincidence?  I. Think. Not.
But the other animals, the non-crime fighters. They don’t like us.  I give you these examples:
·         Planet of the Apes.  Fiction or a creep insight of the future? Those opposible thumbs don’t seem so cute when they are holding guns now do they? It probably stems back to us putting them in diapers when they are babies.
·         Have you seen the look on those circus animals’ faces?  Those bears don’t want to toss a beach ball around… that’s just common sense!
·         No disrespect intended, but clearly tigers don’t like gay magician duos (just sayin’).
·         News reports recently: Alligators in pools, rogue deer attacking motorists, kangaroos boxing humans.  Chaos and anarchy abound!
Then, the kicker was when I found this:

 Seriously, it’s mayhem out there.  All I’m saying is just watch out.  And don’t trust those cute little dressed up monkeys.  They’re up to no good.

1 comment:

Feel free to leave a comment... but beward, you may need your own padded room... just saying...