photo from here
Much like Jack Nicholson in The Shinning… “Here’s Johnny!” Except my name is Missy. And no one is writing “REDRUM” on mirrors or chopping down doors with axes. And I don’t believe I have been possessed by evil poltergeists but that’s always up for debate I suppose. And let’s face it. I’m not gonna clean that big ol’ hotel for the entire winter. Let’s be realistic people!
What I have been possessed with is a bout of depression. Mine isn’t totally obvious or drastic but it’s slowly taken away much of my energy and ability to do the things I enjoy. There have been lots of major changes in my life in the last several months and while those were great changes (they really are good), I’ve felt very consumed by them. To be honest, I haven’t had the desire or the energy for anything more. Dealing with the changes and normal life stresses has made me just emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. I have many friends who suffer much greater /deeper depression, and I don’t want to minimize their situation in ANY way, but even in small doses depression is debilitating. And while I’m not an expert on the subject (though I have read about it on WebMD, so I’m almost an expert), I can only attest to what I feel and how I deal with things.
The thing about depression for me is that I can still function fairly normal. However I’m just going through the motions. And it creeps up so quietly that you don’t realize you have been in a fog until you finally start to come out of it. I’m not sure my family even realized, but I can see now that I was struggling. But that’s what us moms do, right? We make sure everyone else is happy and content before we worry about ourselves. It’s a mom thing.
But the good news is I am feeling more like myself. So that pile of little extra things that-aren’t-vital-to-survival need to be done. Since I’m a type-A person, I do love me some To Do Lists. I’ve decided that there are 33 things I want to get done before 2013. (20+13 = 33 – it’s like I’m Archimedes – He’s the father of mathematics. I looked it up. Anyone else wish he’d have used protection? Haha. Oh come on. That’s funny, yo!) Anyway, I won’t tell you the whole list (don’t be so nosey!) but I will give regular updates. Just cuz it’s my blog and I can. And I won’t even make one of the items “make a list”. Shut up… I’ve done that before. It’s a process people!
So. One item is to be more consistent with my blog. But as is tradition with my hiatus’ (hiati? hiatuses?) I’ve come up with a
fake list of why I didn’t blog this summer:
· I accidently stumbled upon Honey Boo Boo and lost about 50 IQ points.
· Pitched a show called “Softball Moms” it’s like Dance Moms except less whining and over involved parent’s pushing their kids to the limit … oh.. wait. Nope. Pretty much the same thing.
· Took my mad farmin’ skillz from Farmville and bought a farm. Raising goats.
· Adopted a gorgeous metal parrot named Ricky from a horrendous living situation in Mississippi. Ok, it was from a nice, clean antique mall… but that doesn’t sound as admirable or less creepy.
· Attempted to make “couch potato” an Olympic sport. Failed.
· Two words…. shark tank.
· Spent the summer admiring all the wonderfully honest and kind political ads.
· Stalked Justin Bieber. Not as a fan…. To prove he’s an alien robot.
· Spent an amazing summer with three of the most awesome daughters anyone could ask for. Fact.
If you suffer from depression or think you may be depressed…. Please don’t listen to me. I’m an idiot. However your Dr. isn’t. Definitely talk to someone who has a “real” medical degree… and not one that they created in Publisher.